THIS weekend Churches hold Services of Remembrance when we thank God for the people who died serving their countries, especially during the two World Wars. The Great War – so called because it was so terrible no-one wanted it repeated – ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th Month.

That is why Remembrance Sunday is the Sunday nearest November 11, and also why on November 11 at 11 am we hold a minute’s silence.

This is not a time of celebration, but a time of sober reflection.

War is not something we want to celebrate – no-one wins in a war. The people who lose most are the innocent civilians.

The United Nations calculates that with modern weapons of war 90 per cent of casualties during war are civilians - the people left at home, the women, the children. Not the professionals who have been trained to fight.

Those who fight are brave, they are doing their duty, they are paying the ultimate sacrifice.

But why do we, God’s beautiful, creative, people, end up solving our disputes by killing each other?

Last week the weather has been wonderful, beautiful red and orange trees, amazing golden light.

A reminder of God the creator, and our own gifts of creativity. But as we are reminded during Hallowe’en, we can do nasty things.

When we are hurt we get angry and want to retaliate. What we as individuals do on a limited scale with harsh words or fists, countries can do with armies and weapons of mass destruction.

The hardest thing is to walk away, letting the other person win. But this is what God calls us to do.

This is what Jesus, his only Son, demonstrated in his life and death.

Jesus was wrongfully accused, wrongly tried, and wrongly put to death. Jesus did not retaliate.

Jesus, the Prince of Peace, forgave those that wronged him.

This is what we, as Christians, need to try to do.

It is impossibly hard, because we don’t like losing, but the only way we can win, is to give up.

We are asked to live sacrificially – to give up ourselves for others.

Every parent, everyone who has a pet – there are times when we have given up something important or valuable to ourselves, to make life better for them.

Anyone ever not got up to make a cup of tea because you don’t want to disturb the dog asleep on your lap? Tiny example, but the start of something bigger.

The red poppy of Remembrance, is a symbol of hope. Poppies grew up on the destroyed soil of the battlefields.

Let our prayer be that we set aside our hurts, our desires for revenge, and in its place, let the beautiful, creative part of our natures spring up.

Yes, we remember with gratitude those who paid the price of war, but we hang our heads in shame that we created the situation where they had to. Amen

Antonia Tregenza

Licenced Lay Minister

Holy Cross Church